EvilBeAr.Net

I’m sitting here and the clock just ticked past 3:30AM. I just finished writing my essay for Ancient Tech. Nothing too interesting. I haven’t slept well lately so this is nothing new. I’ve basically watched this orange moon crawl from the top of my window the edge of my horizon. Its so close to leaving me for the night. I wish I could be just taking a walk right now or something but I haven’t been feeling well and I wanted to stay inside I guess.

I went to the outlet malls this morning and got some new clothes. I feel kinda bad for the people working there because the malls were basically empty. Well, I’m doing my part. I think i spent too much today, but I’ll be pretty classy for the next month or so until i need more clothes. I’m gonna wear green tomorrow for the first time in a while haha. I don’t ever wear green. I don’t really like to attract a lot of attention. I’m trying to remain upbeat for my big day. I also got some other clothes for work so things should be good. After friday I should start working a full 8-5 day again so I’m pretty excited. I love working and making a difference. I feel like what I do at the University actually has some cool rewards.

Think on this:

My scan system has handled over 1,120,000 requests since August 1st, 2008. My equipment checkout system has processed over 150,000 checkins and checkouts since the system started in late august. It’s very possible that my work has interacted with over 20,000 unique students and individuals this semester. One of the perks of working in beautiful Gregory Gymnasium. I feel like we have great things coming but the progress is just so damn slow during the school year. One week until I can put all the haters to rest and wreck everything in my way. We’ll have more stuff done in the first few weeks of summer than the entire spring semester I’m sure.

totally legit, and did I mention that I work hard, but I also play hard.. and this summer will be epic.. so yall that know me get your game faces on. We gonna get busy.

I was the designated to san marcos last night. It was alright. I was looking forward to friday all week and it was kinda sad when I found out jessica was sick. We picked up katherine and that was fun though. I like to think that I can fix everyones problems but I struggle just helping a few people. I guess I am kinda stressed out over work.

Monday is a big day in multiple respects. My friend is dead and I just want to go visit AJ because i was so upset that I havent gone to visit him in years. I was so upset when he got hit by a car that i don’t know what to say. I will be suit and tie monday in respect for him. I have a really important get together monday but after that i really want to own up and visit my fallen friend. This is one of the toughest times of the year for me. I really love my friends and when one is taken from me like that it is difficult. I guess i can’t sleep because of that. I lost faith in God.. how can i keep the faith when my closest friends are erased from the earth in seconds. I don’t know what do do. I am lost. I think the party i am throwing is totally dedicated to him. I am so upset that he isn’t alive and well right now. I can’t even think straight. I uh, I can’t even think about it.. He was only 15. Yeah sure I was older and 18 but i still havent even gotten over it at 22 now. I can’t handle these things. I need help.

will i deliver?

will i live up to the hype?

will I succeed?

will what I’ve made work?

can I make a difference?

have I already made one?

can I do more?

can I capture that feeling?

will I wow them?

will I do something amazing?

can I promise?

can I intimidate?

can I hesitate?

I still cannot sleep

Facing some big deadlines next week I’ve been working for a good part of the day on some interesting things. First off, I’m 70% of the way with our new digitized refunds interface. Not too interesting. What is interesting is the fact that I created an entire system for our staff to post and pickup shifts from home. That will come in handy. I hate seeing you guys anyways :-). Another concern: tracking disturbing trends has been created. I’m going to start tracking when someone has their ID card used multiple times at one facility during the day. I’m facing too many thefts during the day and I need to be able to track these people down and match it up with some worthy video. That kind of project is actually fun because it makes me feel like I am party of some Law and Order episode. Who doesn’t like that show!?!

Last and not least: Starting monday.. intramural scoring. I have already mentioned this before but it is definitely going to happen.

Today I had time to fit in a run at town lake. 5 miles. Not great, not bad. more later, less business next time, more fun stuff to post.

Gregory Gym (GRE). My homeland. We’re getting so much done these days. Upcoming: one of the busiest weekends of my life. Had to get some fun in thur night. Went out with the roommate and had some fun DT last night. Happy 21st to whoever you were, lolz. Peeps were furreal. Lotta fun.

Huge schedule this weekend and next week. Need to finish refund automation friday-saturday. Monday - Friday then I got to design and create a scheduling a scoring system to replace our aging intramurals system. Everybody gonna love me. We’re gonna be rockin live intramurals scoring like we are ESPN or some shit! DEAL WITH IT! (Got class too ya know)

Goin home this weekend though so hit me up on that cell. Home is still austin, so its a short drive to wherever yall are at. Chillin at work right now. We’re getting legit here at gregory gym. We’ve gone from using hundreds of paper equipment checkout slips a day, to no paper at all. We’re in charge. I like it. Pay me more now please, thx.

But it looks like I am still a good person.

I had a really tough day today. I get so caught up in my own pride that it is difficult for me to accept problems at work.

I’m trying to work really hard to open up and do my best, but I am just so stressed that I end up making more work for myself. I have been undertaking project after project at work to keep myself busy I guess. I feel like when I am not working I am just rotting. I guess that is why I’ve been fairly productive the last few days. I hate class and I love work. This is a bad combination.

I guess I am happy that I am finally doing something interesting outside of work and I’m definitely glad I can actually behave like a normal individual.

I played a lot of Mario kart and smash bros tonight. What else is new? Abbs stopped by for a few races but I still dominate. I tried to stay awake just in case she needed a ride home and I managed barely. Glad she called so at least I know she wasn’t dead.

I also watched the movie airplane tonight. Lol, I’m actually watching the TV show Southland now. Cop drama. The acting is decent but I really like the way the perspective is handled. Seems more real. Back in the day I really liked the show boomtown so that is kinda my style. I’m a loser I know.

nerdin it up right now

completely botched this
back away from me

irritates me. I can’t sleep so I’m staying up for a bit longer. I haven’t slept in like two days I shouldn’t have any problem lol.

Sometimes I feel like the walls in my room are closing in on me and I’m really just wasting away in here. I think thats why I like to get outside and go running. I might get a run in at work tomorrow.

I don’t know if I will go in early. I am so motivated right now to tackle some key projects, but it is really costing me my sanity. I had a splitting headache today all day long. Like a throbbing. I haven’t really been eating well either. Oh well, just under the weather.

I need to remember to bring my umbrella tomorrow. I think it is going to rain. I love it when it rains.

i want to dream

Tuesday was good. I really made some great progress with Whitaker Fields. Everything is pretty much good to go out there. I slept most of the day and the  came back to work later in the afternoon to complete some unfinished business. Later I studied with Andre and then my friend Cat stopped by for a few and ate all my pomegranate lollipops which is really a blessing in disguise since they are nasty.. Had to study for my ECO test though so I was up until about 4AM again.

Today I decided to tackle overdue equipment for Whitaker fields which only took about 30 minutes. That project off my back should really clear up some space. I’m about to finish up initial gift card credit and debit screens before I leave work. That gives me about an hour to finish from now. Not too bad.

Tonight will probably be a lot more relaxation than the last couple of days have been. Mario Kart for sure. Otherwise, same old story.